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So people become less likely to meet to get to know one another casually. Even though the times required to get around in NYC are comparable, the perceived effort of taking the subway or hopping in a cab is much less than driving yourself through snarls of traffic. Lack of pedestrian culture reduces opportunities for casual contact.
Physics tells us that the higher the activation energy, the less frequent the event.
So when I found myself back in LA after a long hiatus, it was a bit of a homecoming.
I looked forward to perpetually sunny climes, rollerblading on the boardwalk, and the general openness of the people.
Here’s the psychology of what I think happens: once you’ve been late or missed an appointment for reasons beyond your control, your brain has to make a choice: “I’m flaky so I’m a bad person” vs.
“Flakiness is okay.” To avoid cognitive dissonance, the unconscious choice that most people make is to validate the unintended bad behavior.Now after six years of being in this town, conducting dating seminars, answering thousands of readers’ letters and writing , I’m pretty sure that Los Angeles is a particularly tough city to be single in – perhaps the toughest in the US.