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27-Oct-2017 07:30

7) Bring up things that inspire you and matter to you Go just a drop further in sharing your interests, passions and emotions.

I’m not suggesting that you over-share, but a bit of extra truth, extra vulnerability, and extra risk add a level of intimacy which can be intoxicating.

They will open new windows of insight about your own search for intimacy while maximizing your chances of finding a healthy, loving relationship.

1) Discover the Art of Squinting If you’ve ever seen an artist working on a portrait, you may have noticed that he or she pauses to squint.

Innumerable opportunities for real love have been lost because daters didn’t know the wise skill of squinting. On a date, it's easy to devote too much attention to our beloved inner scorecard, and not enough to the unique quality of our connection with person in front of us. In this painful but compelling scenario, our driving desire is to get them to finally love us for who we are. These attractions are what I call attractions of inspiration, and they are, quite simply, the path to real love.

Important note: Squinting is for externals, not for important personality traits. See if you can drop down past that exhausting tendency, and just notice how you We all have a fear-based way of handling the discomfort and insecurity of dating situations. They may not seem as exciting at first, because there is less of a chase involved, but they are the way to relationship happiness.

This post and this one describe each of these attractions in more detail.

4) Know about "The Wave" and how to handle it The most common way we sabotage new love possibilities is through what I call the Wave of Distancing (or simply, the Wave).

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If we can't navigate the Wave, we'll keep going after the wrong people and passing the right ones by.

Ask the same from your partner--notice what makes them glow and ask more about it.

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